so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
