If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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