you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
