Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
