ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
