I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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