Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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