we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
