i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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