Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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