DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
