I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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