If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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