Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i already hear my dad disowning me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
