ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
