Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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