so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
