the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
