Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize