Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
