Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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