we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
