I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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