im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
