just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
