I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
