We're facebook friends in real life
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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