i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
