if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
