She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
