Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
