it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
