I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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