you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
