I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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