i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
