My room smells like vodka and shame
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
