I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize