He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Still dying that you shit outside
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize