It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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