planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
