fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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