I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
