i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
