Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
