last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
