You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
