Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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