I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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