Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
