But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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