I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
