Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
