Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
