I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
