I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
