seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
