imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
