After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The air was thick with penises
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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