I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
