you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
