The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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