Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
