I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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