i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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