Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
