Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i now understand why vodka
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
