If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
