Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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