she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
