She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
