Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
