): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
