it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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