She is in my trunk
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
