exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
