Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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