Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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