you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
