Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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