..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
