I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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